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Dear Future Bruin…

Hello everyone!!

My name is Ava (she/her) and I’m currently in my second year at UCLA as a theater major with an emphasis in acting. I grew up in Los Angeles, and have been surrounded by performing arts my whole life. I love reading, dancing, watching movies, and spending time with my friends. Even though I’m only at the end of my second year here at UCLA, I can confidently say that I learned so much- and not just academically. I learned how to trust myself, and I wish I knew how to do that earlier in my transition to UCLA. I honestly didn’t think that I would attend UCLA as a performing arts major. When it came time for college applications, I decided to pursue acting professionally, which then came with a lot of additional work with auditions, supplemental applications, and interviews on top of the general college application craziness. UCLA had been my dream school, and it felt like an absolute privilege to get accepted to the theater program.

But when I committed to UCLA and started sharing this achievement, I was often met with disbelief, surprise, and overall not really being taken seriously (“Good luck in unemployment” and things like that.) Maybe it was just people projecting onto me, but it definitely made the transition to college more challenging. Very quickly I discovered the true meaning of “imposter syndrome;” it felt like I was completely inferior to the other students in the acting program. To me, it seemed that everyone was more knowledgeable, more talented, more well spoken, and more experienced than I was. I frequently questioned why I was even accepted in the first place, and I felt like I constantly had to prove myself with everything I did.

With that, the biggest thing I wish I knew before coming to UCLA is that comparison is truly the thief of joy and at the end of the day, to trust myself and the process of uncertainty. Now I know that’s definitely easier said than done, but self confidence begins with acknowledging that there is a reason why you’re at a particular point in your life. For instance, there was a reason why I had gotten accepted into UCLA’s theater program, and that I should trust that. If I’m being honest, I’m still developing this skill of self assuredness and I believe I’ll spend the rest of my life working towards it, but imposter syndrome is not a unique experience. I’ve discovered that most of my talented peers experience it as well. Therefore, if I could go back in time and tell pre-UCLA Ava what she should hear, it would be to never doubt your reason for being in a room; what matters is that you made it there.